Embracing Gardening with Chronic Illness: A Journey of Resilience

MJ
Apr 23
3 min read

Updated: May 4

Finding Joy in the Garden

With the arrival of nicer weather, I find myself yearning to be outside. The garden comes to life, and I feel a deep connection to nature. Gardening fills me with joy and purpose. I truly can't get enough of it. Unfortunately, my body often has other plans.

Living with ME/CFS and surgically induced menopause has been challenging. Over the past two years, I’ve received three new diagnoses. One of these is Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS).

Understanding MCAS

For those unfamiliar, MCAS is a condition where mast cells in the body go haywire. This causes a range of symptoms across multiple organ systems. In my case, it manifests as adrenaline dumps, heart palpitations, difficulty breathing, and tremors. I also experience internal and external tremors, night sweats, anxiety, and panic attacks. My diet is now limited to about 24 foods, and even supplements or medications can trigger reactions.

Gardening Challenges

This year, gardening has become more difficult than ever. Seasonal pollen, heat, and stress exacerbate my symptoms. They lower my threshold for flares. With ME/CFS, I learned to recognize my limits. I managed flares with rest, prepared meals, and comforting distractions. But MCAS has thrown all of that out the window.

So, why am I sharing all this? To lead you to where I am now.

A Productive Easter Break

In early April, my husband had 12 days off for Easter. Normally, we would visit my family in Alberta. But with my health, traveling and eating food I didn’t prepare is too difficult. Instead, we tackled some projects around the yard. For eight days straight, we worked tirelessly.

We finished the garden beds and fencing. We cleaned up his grandmother’s yard for planting. We refreshed the rain barrel, broke down and spread compost, started hot compost bins, and planted countless new plants and starts. We also set up a drip line system, which didn’t go as planned and needs redoing. I even made two weeping beds!

With ME/CFS, I know how to pace myself—small tasks followed by rest. There was plenty of hammock time, evening wind-downs, and good sleep. But this time, it wasn’t enough.

The Flare-Up

What started as a CFS flare—fatigue, muscle soreness, difficulty sleeping, and brain fog—quickly escalated into an MCAS flare with relentless adrenaline dumps. These are some of the scariest symptoms I’ve experienced in my 11 years of chronic illness. They feel like you’re dying. This time, they woke me in the middle of the night, leaving me gasping for air as my body dumped adrenaline to counteract a histamine storm. None of this is good for ME/CFS.

The extra adrenaline, lack of sleep, and anxiety triggered another CFS flare. Now, I’m stuck in the house, on the couch or in bed, physically and emotionally drained. Eight days of productivity have cost me over two weeks of recovery—and I’m still not there yet.

Finding Balance

Gardening, maintaining my website, and staying active on social media are things I love. However, my body is having a hard time keeping up right now. This is a steep learning curve for me. I’m trying to find balance, redefine my limits, and adapt to this new reality. My cat has been pretty good at forcing me to rest these days. He is one of those cats that really loves to cuddle and is very difficult to move once he gets settled.

Future Plans

For now, I won’t be releasing any new courses. I’ll continue working on videos and posts to share my knowledge and journey, but they’ll come out slowly. Video editing, in particular, demands energy and focus that I don’t always have.

Lastly, my courses will no longer be entirely free. Spoonie-specific material will remain free because I understand the financial challenges we face. I want to ensure that other spoonies have access to resources without added stress. However, the rest of my courses will be affordable. The time, energy, and effort I pour into them deserve some compensation.